Wet cobblestones are prettier than wet cemet, so I don't mind the 36 hour rain that has been drizzling over the 'Furt the last few days. The Germans call this Schlafwetter (sleep weather) and it's the main reason why they take extended Holy Week holidays, sort of like our spring vacation. In typical German fashion, I am done teaching by 10 a.m. on Fridays, and because we finally got our internet installed, I am having a glossy eyed gorge on people.com, youtube, style.com, and of course Bittman's blog.
This week has been pretty quiet. I've taught businessmen how to use the past continous (''I.. am.. no... I were.. no.. I was?... Yes!... I was watching television at 8 o'clock last night? Don't raise your voice, it's a statement... I WAS watching television at 8 o'clock last night... Very good (hand clap!)'' I went to a yoga class (in German) with some friends and we saw scary Aryan women doing Cirque d' Soile style moves. The best part was after the class -- in the locker room. We the Americans all huddled and twisted out of our clothes, never to expose ourselves while the German ladies just stripped down and hopped into a communal shower. I'm sorry... but I don't want to see butts and they were most certainly NOT wearing flip-flops. All I could think of was fungi.
Then, on Wednesday my life got really exciting, really fast. We got a TV, and now I have 20 channels of all German media (including some dubbed Season 2 of ''Grey's Anatomy'') to watch. I hope the language enters my brian via osmosis. So far, ''Germany's Next Topmodel bei Heidi Klum'' looks promising, as well as some weight loss show a la 'The Biggest Loser.'' This one, however features really big Bavarians eating sausages. See, not all Europeans are thin.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Swedish babes and German babies
What a busy birthday weekend! I saw a movie (''Sweeny Todd''-- meh.); I had a mini-dinner party (and got a sweet house plant out of the deal); I proved to be the victor in a bowling match (they have ''Cosmic'' bowling here, too); and last night I saw Jens Lekman at the Mousoun Turm.
Jens is a Swedish indie rocker, but he sings in a beautifully pitched colloquial Ami English (he peppers lyrics with phrases like ''Here's the thing,'' and subsitiues ''O'' for zero. That's real fluency). He performed with a five-piece backing band that was comically über Swedish. All the girls dressed like Debbie Harry if Debbie Harry shopped in an Amish discount store. In other words, they were the type of blonde babes who drink a lot of tea, dabble in acrylics, and manage to pull off geometric haircuts. Jens rocked the house but couldn't manage to coax more than a few shy handclaps from the Germans. And when poor Jens tried to get everyone to snap on the beat, it was like he asked them to find the square root of 1,879,365. I understand that Sweden is in a mini- Baby Boom right now, and after seeing the babes in the band I understand why. The Swedes seem lighthearted enough (not to mention stylish enough) to want to reproduce. But not the Germans...
It's been widely reported that the German birthrate is in a ridiculous decline. People aren't having babies, and thus the government tries to persuade them to have children with cute advertising campiagns and loads of social services if a couple does reach the desired state. I now have new insight into this birthrate problem. On Saturday I tutored a young, unmarried couple in English. To give a contemporary spin to my vocab lesson, I made them read a People magazine article on Sarkozy and Bruni's wedding. It was easy enough, but when we got to the sentence ''Some are reporting that Bruni is already expecting,'' they looked at me blankly. ''Expecting what?'' they asked. I explained that it was short for expecting a baby, and they stared. ''Schwanger?!''I mimed a big belly. They nodded. I asked if they had a similar phrase in Germany, and they said they did, something about a women expecting a kind. ''But,'' my tutee said, ''We very rarely see that!''
Jens is a Swedish indie rocker, but he sings in a beautifully pitched colloquial Ami English (he peppers lyrics with phrases like ''Here's the thing,'' and subsitiues ''O'' for zero. That's real fluency). He performed with a five-piece backing band that was comically über Swedish. All the girls dressed like Debbie Harry if Debbie Harry shopped in an Amish discount store. In other words, they were the type of blonde babes who drink a lot of tea, dabble in acrylics, and manage to pull off geometric haircuts. Jens rocked the house but couldn't manage to coax more than a few shy handclaps from the Germans. And when poor Jens tried to get everyone to snap on the beat, it was like he asked them to find the square root of 1,879,365. I understand that Sweden is in a mini- Baby Boom right now, and after seeing the babes in the band I understand why. The Swedes seem lighthearted enough (not to mention stylish enough) to want to reproduce. But not the Germans...
It's been widely reported that the German birthrate is in a ridiculous decline. People aren't having babies, and thus the government tries to persuade them to have children with cute advertising campiagns and loads of social services if a couple does reach the desired state. I now have new insight into this birthrate problem. On Saturday I tutored a young, unmarried couple in English. To give a contemporary spin to my vocab lesson, I made them read a People magazine article on Sarkozy and Bruni's wedding. It was easy enough, but when we got to the sentence ''Some are reporting that Bruni is already expecting,'' they looked at me blankly. ''Expecting what?'' they asked. I explained that it was short for expecting a baby, and they stared. ''Schwanger?!''I mimed a big belly. They nodded. I asked if they had a similar phrase in Germany, and they said they did, something about a women expecting a kind. ''But,'' my tutee said, ''We very rarely see that!''
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Another day..
Well it's another day in the 'Furt, which means another day without internet, telephones, or proper seating at the new apartment. Now the powers at be tell us it will all be installed on Tuesday, but I remain doubtful. Once we have that and some chairs/sofa I think I can call this place home.
To make up for my complaints about not having a car, having an electrocution device for a water heater, and no phones or internet, I'm going to share some things I love about Germany:
1. School supplies: Brothers do this right! Any block in the 'Furt has an office/school supply store and these places rock. Part art store, part Office Max, part Target, these gems got the goods. I am in love with Stablio pens (think Uni-Ball meets a Papermate felt tip) and Claire Fontaine notebooks and volkabelhefts (special mini-notebooks to write down new vocab words).
2. Department stores: Department stores are still department stores in Germany. It's true: Karstad, Kaufhoff's, et. al., actually have a real variety of stuff, very Sears Roebuck (pre-DMV days) and Woolworth's (which they still have here!) You can buy kitchen utensils, yarn, the aforementioned school supplies, nice clothes, wedding dresses, fancy cakes and candies, beds, etc... And unlike my beloved Dayton's/Marshall Field's/ Macy's these stores are thriving with hustles and bustle. Of course they're not open on Sundays or past 8 p.m.....
3. Gerolsteiner Mineralwasser: Most Germans still drink their mineral watter with bubbles (mit kohlensaure) and I am a convert. This brand is the best, as it doesn't taste too much like Club Soda. It's just so crisp and refreshing and I love when you're a guest in a German's home and they pull out a bottle of this bad boy from the kuhlshrank.
4. Lack of sarcasm: Maybe I just don't hang with enough Germans yet, but the one's I've met and teach seem to possess no sense of irony or sarcasm. I think this is a nice change of pace from our overly sit-commed speech patterns in America. For instance, I've asked some of my students their hobbies, and without a grin or a sly look they look me in the eyes and say with all of the world's sorrows: "Handball." I chuckle, because handball seems like a lighthearted enough endeavor, but they remain stony faced.
5. Crazy-ass Long Words: Ahhh! I love this, if there isn't a word for what you want to say you just keep adding words together until you make it up. The classic example is Shadenfreude, which means "being happy at someone else's pain." I love what a horrible word that is, but I also love that Germans get done in one word what we get done in six.
Ok, must go work, meet Henly for a coffee, work again, cook dinner, go to German class, bathe under the box of fire. Tschuess!
To make up for my complaints about not having a car, having an electrocution device for a water heater, and no phones or internet, I'm going to share some things I love about Germany:
1. School supplies: Brothers do this right! Any block in the 'Furt has an office/school supply store and these places rock. Part art store, part Office Max, part Target, these gems got the goods. I am in love with Stablio pens (think Uni-Ball meets a Papermate felt tip) and Claire Fontaine notebooks and volkabelhefts (special mini-notebooks to write down new vocab words).
2. Department stores: Department stores are still department stores in Germany. It's true: Karstad, Kaufhoff's, et. al., actually have a real variety of stuff, very Sears Roebuck (pre-DMV days) and Woolworth's (which they still have here!) You can buy kitchen utensils, yarn, the aforementioned school supplies, nice clothes, wedding dresses, fancy cakes and candies, beds, etc... And unlike my beloved Dayton's/Marshall Field's/ Macy's these stores are thriving with hustles and bustle. Of course they're not open on Sundays or past 8 p.m.....
3. Gerolsteiner Mineralwasser: Most Germans still drink their mineral watter with bubbles (mit kohlensaure) and I am a convert. This brand is the best, as it doesn't taste too much like Club Soda. It's just so crisp and refreshing and I love when you're a guest in a German's home and they pull out a bottle of this bad boy from the kuhlshrank.
4. Lack of sarcasm: Maybe I just don't hang with enough Germans yet, but the one's I've met and teach seem to possess no sense of irony or sarcasm. I think this is a nice change of pace from our overly sit-commed speech patterns in America. For instance, I've asked some of my students their hobbies, and without a grin or a sly look they look me in the eyes and say with all of the world's sorrows: "Handball." I chuckle, because handball seems like a lighthearted enough endeavor, but they remain stony faced.
5. Crazy-ass Long Words: Ahhh! I love this, if there isn't a word for what you want to say you just keep adding words together until you make it up. The classic example is Shadenfreude, which means "being happy at someone else's pain." I love what a horrible word that is, but I also love that Germans get done in one word what we get done in six.
Ok, must go work, meet Henly for a coffee, work again, cook dinner, go to German class, bathe under the box of fire. Tschuess!
Monday, February 18, 2008
I need some Hirsch.
I used to watch the show "Taxi" all the time even though it went off the air three years before I was born. Thanks to the miracle of Nick at Nite, I was a huge fan of '70s comedies as a prepubescent. "Taxi" was one of my favorites, mostly because I loved Judd Hirsch (I was never an Andy Kaufman fan... he was creepy). I remember in the pilot episode Judd Hirsch explains to Marilu Henner that everyone who works for the NY taxi cab company is something else; anything but a cab driver. "Everyone here is a writer or an actor or a musician who just drives Taxis for rent," says Hirsch's Alex Rieger. "I'm the only one who's a Taxi driver."
Oh, Judd Hirsch is so wise. Well, language school teachers are just like the characters in "Taxi." Everyone is teaching because they can't preform their chosen profession in Germany (so far I've met a nurse, an ABD poli sci student, a business analyst, a lit teacher, etc.). So they become English teachers, selling the only commodity they have and spending their days far from home, explaining to German bankers ( die Schlips, German slang for "the ties/suits") that it's "I speak some English," not "I speaks some English." My language school is full of these characters, and almost all of us came to Germany because of a significant other. As my boss said in my interview, "Ok, out with it: Who are you running from or to?"
Classes started this week and so far all I've accomplished is writing ALWAYS= 100 % SOMETIMES = 50% NEVER= 0 % on the board. Let's hope things pick up.
Oh, Judd Hirsch is so wise. Well, language school teachers are just like the characters in "Taxi." Everyone is teaching because they can't preform their chosen profession in Germany (so far I've met a nurse, an ABD poli sci student, a business analyst, a lit teacher, etc.). So they become English teachers, selling the only commodity they have and spending their days far from home, explaining to German bankers ( die Schlips, German slang for "the ties/suits") that it's "I speak some English," not "I speaks some English." My language school is full of these characters, and almost all of us came to Germany because of a significant other. As my boss said in my interview, "Ok, out with it: Who are you running from or to?"
Classes started this week and so far all I've accomplished is writing ALWAYS= 100 % SOMETIMES = 50% NEVER= 0 % on the board. Let's hope things pick up.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wir sind NICHT in Amerika!
So last night was Valentine's Day, and I spent the night driving to Wallau, Germany in a rented molester van to get furniture for our new place. Wallau is home to Germany's largest IKEA, and we had to get some big ticket items last night, including a carpet and a bookshelf. All went well; we dined on Swedish cafeteria food, agreed on light fixtures, and made it back to the 'Furt by 9 p.m -- we thought that left us plenty of time to set up. We were wrong. Just as we were getting into the groove of reading those diagrammed instructions (about 10:15 p.m.) we hear our doorbell ring. E went to the door, only to find our terrifying 65 year-old Hausmaesterin tapping her toe. She told him we were being too loud, that some people were in bed... then she added a spiteful "Wir sind nicht in Amerika!," (we are not in America!) before mounting her broom and flying back west. Ugh! I am so fed up with that attitude: A) This lady's image of Amerika is most certainly derived from marathon sessions of watching OUR imported TV shows, and B) it wasn't even late! C) just because we're big (both metaphorically and literally) doesn't mean you can take any cheap shot you like, at any time.
Pictures to come, a promise...
Pictures to come, a promise...
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Sorry for the delay
It's been a week since I last blogged and I miss it! However, we're undergoing a move right now (still living in east Frankfurt) and thus do not have phone/internet for the next couple of weeks. Right now I'm writing from the teacher's lounge at my language school and I just explained to an Italian teacher that the phrase "got asked out" has romantic connotations in America.
This weekend we moved to a new apartment and I cannot emphasize enough how horrible it is to move without an automobile and just two people. We carried all of our belongings on upwards of 10 trips on the U-Bahn, and I'm sure some riders were scared of our huge blue Ikea bags bulging with books, bedsheets, and kitchenware. As soon as I remember to bring my camera to work, I will upload some new pictures of the place. It's still pretty bare, but it has a lot of potential. We have a small balcony, a cute kitchen and a nice-sized bathroom, all pretty rare for cheap European living. I am, however, suffering from a panic attack each time I bathe in the new place. The water heater, flames and all, is located right above the bathtub and I fully believe that some sort of exploding/electrical/bomb malfunction will take place when I'm washing my hair.
Besides the move, I was granted a visa on Friday! Yes! It was a really easy process (because E was there bullying them in perfect German) and I can now live and work in Germany until February 2010. I can hold down any job as long as I am using my "Native English" skills. I have my first official class next Tuesday, and I cannot wait! You meet such interesting people at a language school, both trainers and students.
OK, this was a boring update but I had to start somewhere. I'll write more ASAP.
This weekend we moved to a new apartment and I cannot emphasize enough how horrible it is to move without an automobile and just two people. We carried all of our belongings on upwards of 10 trips on the U-Bahn, and I'm sure some riders were scared of our huge blue Ikea bags bulging with books, bedsheets, and kitchenware. As soon as I remember to bring my camera to work, I will upload some new pictures of the place. It's still pretty bare, but it has a lot of potential. We have a small balcony, a cute kitchen and a nice-sized bathroom, all pretty rare for cheap European living. I am, however, suffering from a panic attack each time I bathe in the new place. The water heater, flames and all, is located right above the bathtub and I fully believe that some sort of exploding/electrical/bomb malfunction will take place when I'm washing my hair.
Besides the move, I was granted a visa on Friday! Yes! It was a really easy process (because E was there bullying them in perfect German) and I can now live and work in Germany until February 2010. I can hold down any job as long as I am using my "Native English" skills. I have my first official class next Tuesday, and I cannot wait! You meet such interesting people at a language school, both trainers and students.
OK, this was a boring update but I had to start somewhere. I'll write more ASAP.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I love this man...
HOLY CRAP!!!! Mark Bittman has a new blog at nytimes.com. I cannot WAIT to try the veggie pancakes, a perfect Lenten meal, no?
Check it here: http://bitten.blogs.nytimes.com/
Ash Wednesday finds the 'Furt in some mild, spring-like weather. The results for Super Tuesday are in and CNN International has been having a field day. It's so addictive; even though CNN is programmed on the same 22 minute story loops, I find myself watching for hours at a time, waiting for them to say once more that Obama still has family in Kenya or see that one clip of Huckabee rocking to "Sweet Home Alabama." My favorite, though, has to be the byte of Bill in a Harlem church, laughing about how all his life he wanted to vote for a black president... or a woman. God that man is just ripped from Shakespeare.
My mom said her dems polling station ran out of ballots, so she was caucusing on Post-It notes. I love that image, and I hope the vibes in America are as exciting as they seem from abroad. Last night, I went to my new language class, and when I said "Ich komme aus Amerika," the whole class was like "SUPER TUESDAY!!!! Obama! McCain! Hillary!" The world is getting smaller.
Check it here: http://bitten.blogs.nytimes.com/
Ash Wednesday finds the 'Furt in some mild, spring-like weather. The results for Super Tuesday are in and CNN International has been having a field day. It's so addictive; even though CNN is programmed on the same 22 minute story loops, I find myself watching for hours at a time, waiting for them to say once more that Obama still has family in Kenya or see that one clip of Huckabee rocking to "Sweet Home Alabama." My favorite, though, has to be the byte of Bill in a Harlem church, laughing about how all his life he wanted to vote for a black president... or a woman. God that man is just ripped from Shakespeare.
My mom said her dems polling station ran out of ballots, so she was caucusing on Post-It notes. I love that image, and I hope the vibes in America are as exciting as they seem from abroad. Last night, I went to my new language class, and when I said "Ich komme aus Amerika," the whole class was like "SUPER TUESDAY!!!! Obama! McCain! Hillary!" The world is getting smaller.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Pictures!
So far I have been pretty slow with the photos.. but here are some good ones from the last few days. Of interest, the creepy Fasching mask, the Zoo U-bahn stop, the Turm (English movie theater), and visions of the 'Furt at night!
Weekend in Review
As the citizens of St. Paul, MN froze their tootsies off at the Winter Carnival, I was celebrating another carnival of sorts half-way around the world. This weekend marked the beginning of Fasching, the pre-Lent Mardis Gras-like weekend of parties that has Germans from all walks of life parading around to costume parties as honeybees, witches, and, of course, the dreaded clown.
Germans don't really do Halloween, so Fashing is their time to shine when it comes to costumes. Unfortunately for me and my clown anxieties, many a German choose to go with the red nose/court jester hat motif.
Frankfurt has a big Faschings parade on Sunday, but the real celebration was on Monday an hour north, in the city of Mainz. Mainz is one of the most Catholic towns in Germany, so their parade is large and in charge. I hiked up there at 9 a.m. this morning with some friends, and we wore our creepy face masks (very Eyes Wide Shut) and waved our hands so German men dressed up on stilts would throw us candy. I have to admit I was impressed by the German marching bands, and pleased to see that the parade route boasted many food vendors. It was almost as good as the state fair. I had two Jag shots , a crepe with Nutella and Bailey's, and a Kuh-Wurst (cow-sausage). ... all before 11 a.m.
Besides the Lenten celebrations, I saw a great movie Control at the English-language theater, met with my new Tandem conversation partner Esther, and went out for sushi in one of the ritzier parts of the 'Furt.
Ikea Update: It IS the same. But let me say this, Ikeas should NOT exist in places where the vast majority depend on public transportation. I would have given a pinky toe to have had an SUV on Saturday....
Germans don't really do Halloween, so Fashing is their time to shine when it comes to costumes. Unfortunately for me and my clown anxieties, many a German choose to go with the red nose/court jester hat motif.
Frankfurt has a big Faschings parade on Sunday, but the real celebration was on Monday an hour north, in the city of Mainz. Mainz is one of the most Catholic towns in Germany, so their parade is large and in charge. I hiked up there at 9 a.m. this morning with some friends, and we wore our creepy face masks (very Eyes Wide Shut) and waved our hands so German men dressed up on stilts would throw us candy. I have to admit I was impressed by the German marching bands, and pleased to see that the parade route boasted many food vendors. It was almost as good as the state fair. I had two Jag shots , a crepe with Nutella and Bailey's, and a Kuh-Wurst (cow-sausage). ... all before 11 a.m.
Besides the Lenten celebrations, I saw a great movie Control at the English-language theater, met with my new Tandem conversation partner Esther, and went out for sushi in one of the ritzier parts of the 'Furt.
Ikea Update: It IS the same. But let me say this, Ikeas should NOT exist in places where the vast majority depend on public transportation. I would have given a pinky toe to have had an SUV on Saturday....
Friday, February 1, 2008
A long week
Sorry for the infrequent blogging this week, but I have a good excuse: I am employed! Yes, after two weeks of filling out too many job applications, and making too many phone calls in my Germanish (German-English), I have now found gainful employment as an English teacher in a sprachschule in the 'Furt. The best part is that the job is only 25 hours per week, thus I can continue my German studies. But I'm not in the clear yet. I have to apply for my Visa. My new boss said that this shouldn't be a problem as long as I remember to bring the right papers and biometric photos when I meet the authorities on Tuesday. Biometric photos, by the way, are super bad ass. You have to stand against a white background, you have to have your ears and the top of your head visible, and you CANNOT smile. When I do those things (I've been practicing in the mirror) I look astonishingly like David Bowie. It won't be pretty.
Besides getting a job, and seeing that concert, I went to Rimbach this week. Dinner with E's former colleagues was great, but everyone spoke German, so I did a lot of nodding and 2-second delay laughing at jokes. Rimbach is on the famed Bergstrasse (Mountain Street) of Germany. It's the scenic route that 18th century literati like Goethe took to Italy, and it really is more fairy-tale like than Bavaria. We took the regional bahn, which is one of my favorite things to do here. The Hauptbanhof in Frankfurt is a gorgeous building and I love how the skyline comes into view as we rear into the station. It feels both perfectly modern and completely old-fashioned at the same time, which I guess is apropos of Germany.
Tonight I am going to make a nice curry, lentil, potato, stew-thing: another recipe from Bittman's book. The weather here is wet and chilly, so something hot and contained in one bowl is required for dinner. Tomorrow I am going on my first-ever European trip to... IKEA! I can't wait! I hope it's exactly like the one near the MOA, like with the same set-up and everything so it will feel like some Swedish-designed parallel universe. I have a perverse love for these parallel universes that occur thanks to globalization. A perfect example is the Starbuck's I visited this afternoon. Beige and green overstuffed chairs? Check. Vanilla spelling with an "a"? Check. Neko Case on the PA? Check. Eerie, I felt like my old eighth grade teacher could have walked in at any minute.
Besides getting a job, and seeing that concert, I went to Rimbach this week. Dinner with E's former colleagues was great, but everyone spoke German, so I did a lot of nodding and 2-second delay laughing at jokes. Rimbach is on the famed Bergstrasse (Mountain Street) of Germany. It's the scenic route that 18th century literati like Goethe took to Italy, and it really is more fairy-tale like than Bavaria. We took the regional bahn, which is one of my favorite things to do here. The Hauptbanhof in Frankfurt is a gorgeous building and I love how the skyline comes into view as we rear into the station. It feels both perfectly modern and completely old-fashioned at the same time, which I guess is apropos of Germany.
Tonight I am going to make a nice curry, lentil, potato, stew-thing: another recipe from Bittman's book. The weather here is wet and chilly, so something hot and contained in one bowl is required for dinner. Tomorrow I am going on my first-ever European trip to... IKEA! I can't wait! I hope it's exactly like the one near the MOA, like with the same set-up and everything so it will feel like some Swedish-designed parallel universe. I have a perverse love for these parallel universes that occur thanks to globalization. A perfect example is the Starbuck's I visited this afternoon. Beige and green overstuffed chairs? Check. Vanilla spelling with an "a"? Check. Neko Case on the PA? Check. Eerie, I felt like my old eighth grade teacher could have walked in at any minute.
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