In which I do something different

Perhaps it's the mulled wine or the Christmas lights hanging from the Altbau apartments, but I am in the mood for a little holiday goodwill and yuletide reflection. At a recent dinner at our neighborhood Indian place, the colonial namesake Bombay Palace, E pointed out to me that on January 7th I will have my one-year anniversary with the Fatherland.

My initial response: Scheisse. One year and I have a special needs third grader's language skills, one German friend, one Ukrainian friend probably about 3 pounds of Ritter Sport chocolate irrevocably attached to my butt. I was being a Negative Nancy, a role that ex-patriotism not only encourages but supports. For me, 2008 was the Year of the Gripe. The most omnipresent: I can't remember dative personal pronouns. I have no oven. I have no friends. I feel bloated. I wish I looked Aryan. I wish the English movie theater didn't show "Hellboy" on two screens... etc.

So in an effort to be more positive I am going to post my Top Ten Things I Actually Like about Germany/Germans throughout the rest of December. I have one month to foster my "intention of happiness" (that's from an O article I cut out). Here goes:

Number 10: I like how Germans dance because it's so weird

A few weeks ago I went to a German dance club with the aforementioned German friend. The club was full of hipsters, and the DJ was spinning things like " Don't Walk Away Renee" with a house beat. It was weird, but not as weird as a dance floor full of Krauts getting down. Germans do not grind, freak or hump on the dance floor. Nor do they dance ironically, they way most white people do (like me). There are no sprinklers or pencil sharpeners, no people pretending to be hooked fish. Instead Germans dance in a totally serious, totally Teutonic, totally unselfconscious way. They're like Sprockets but better. They do not touch. They do not smile. They do not raise their arms. They grimace and move their hips like people who actually like Kraftwerk. They are robots, and God bless them for that.